I showed him my bush... on skype.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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