it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
