Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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