My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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