So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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