She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
