did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
