? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
