So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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