we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
