Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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