Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
