Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
