I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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