I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
