Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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