Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
