I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
