you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
