AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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