Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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