we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize