but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
