Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
