you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
