i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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