PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
