I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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