Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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