question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
