is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My life is pants optional.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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