Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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