Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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