Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
