omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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