you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
