My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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