Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
