Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
