So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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