they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
