talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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