I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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