we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
