dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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