We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
