so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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