I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
