Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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