He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
