The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
