so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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