big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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