if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
