We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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