the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
