The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
