His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
