It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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