I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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