I can tuck mytits in my pants
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize